Historical

Had to pull these from my old blog that I cant access.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The universes peculiar sense of humor. Does anyone else notice that the winds of major change seem to attract all manner of leaves, twigs, detritus, farm animals, yachts, etc. So, you are challenged not only by writing the end of a chapter, but you are required to write the beginning of the next at the same time. No link, no rhythm, Chaos. You sit and ponder, logic dictating that you focus on writing the best beginning that you can, setting up the tone and groundwork for the next chapter, yet you are not allowed that, as the chapter you must close first keeps hounding you and tickling your brain, tugging on your sleeves like a 3 year old wanting candy.

Maybe I just dont get Jazz. 3/4 time cacophony and I cannot hold on to a melody. I hear it, it pulls my being and then elusively flits away. I cannot find the beat, the grounding of my feet in earth. Only in moments do I touch either, so I strive to make the most of those moments. The moments of oneness and clarity.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The beginning

Inspiration comes in many forms if you just pay attention. I have been reading a friends blog for, oh about 6 months now, maybe a little less. And, I always try to comment, and what I find is that looking from the outside in, I have come up with some teensy nuggets of truth, at least my truth. I thought maybe I should share those. Maybe I should let someone offer some to me. Maybe reading parts of my story will illuminate parts of yours. Maybe it is just ego to think I have something to offer. Maybe it is just my undying need for attention. But no matter what it is, I think it will be good for me, and maybe you too. So, in honor of my blogging friend, my blog muse, I begin.

Let me begin this whole thing with two phrases I said this year, that stuck with me. Profound? I think so. One, was total epiphany for me.

A little background behind the epiphany.
As I was chatting with a friend and his friend in an online game, the issue of true love and suicide came up. The second friend said, "True love is someone you would die without." And as the entire conversation made me completely angry and frustrated, I logged off for awhile. Having suffered my own true love losses, I understood the feeling behind this, and then somewhere a light bulb went off. And what I found was this little nugget of my truth, "True Love does not subsume, it surpasses." I wondered how I could possibly make a hormonal teenager understand this. I came up with a lame analogy, logged on, and maybe it worked. I may never know, but I know I tried.

The other little tidbit that I found recently was in response to a blog of my muse. Sometimes he seems to be a little stuck in yesterday, and I responded to him with this, "You cannot step into tomorrow from yesterday, you can only do that from today." By this, I did not mean that yesterday does not have lessons, or does not need to be remembered and evaluated, but that when we get stuck there, lost in the what ifs, the if onlys, we lose today, and have no focus hopes for tomorrow.

So there is my beginning. May my pain, my humor, my joys and nuggets of my truth inspire or at least entertain you.